Inquisition 21
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State intervention
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We are moving towards a society where the state tries to legislate for appropriate behavouir
The story of a ‘lucky family’
Dear Editor
I would like to contribute a statement about what happened to my (UK) family to your website. Please consider if this below seems useful.
Our story is in significant contrast with other accounts that are publicised of the professional abuse of families by the ‘child protectors’. The difference is sort of odd: that nothing terrible happened to us! We were "lucky." We were only slightly brushed by the tip of the system. We were merely ‘assessed’ and then left alone. We completely acknowledge that what happened to us was ‘minor’. We would not dream of comparing our little story of a few weeks encounter with the ‘child protectors’ to the serious suffering of other families whose cases went further.
The reason that I think my statement matters to anyone other than ourselves is that in spite of the triviality of our case we have now been surviving its aftermath for two years. We have been, quite simply, devastated as a family, for two years, and this tiny experience came cruelly close to breaking up what had been a long established devoted little family.
Some silly and untrue gossip was passed on to local authorities. It could easily have been checked to be ridiculous by making a phone call or two. Instead, a whole list of professionals decided one after the other, that this was ‘serious’ and must be investigated.
We were shamed and humiliated by being suddenly treated, without justification, like criminal defectives. We were very, very frightened of the uncontrolled power these government agents clearly held to invade us without explaining why at all, and without providing us with so much as a leaflet to inform us of our rights or how this situation operated. It was like a nightmare, like Kafka's Trial, like the old witch hunts. We were disgusted by the lies we were told in order to frighten us, and to make us cooperate with things that are not legally authorised. We were shocked at the amazing lack of respect shown for our child's needs.
But most of all we saw that if they wished to, they could remove our child from us without any evidence that this child had any problems. We knew a child removed is put in unsafe, poorly supported circumstances, and might never return. If we showed our terror, we saw we would be perceived as ‘emotionally unstable’ and that this would increase the threat against our child (which we learned later has indeed happened to others). Because we understood we faced the possibility of such an ultimate threat to the safety and happiness of our child, we lived in simple terror for those weeks.
Before, we were a remarkably happy healthy family, perhaps a bit more active and creative than many others. We'd had struggles but come through them strengthened. We were lucky that there was no instant, easy way for the authorities to describe us as defective. We had brought up a happy, healthy, sociable child. We were also strong resourceful people, able to use considerable personal resources and some powerful contacts to deal with the threat presented by ‘child protection’. So far so good.
Afterwards we both became ill, and seriously depressed. The shame and stigma were overwhelming. The fear was paralysing. Both of us have struggled with shock and stress side effects like constant memory problems, and quite radical inefficiency about practical living, similar to people in rail crashes etc. One of us has even now not really regained a healthy sleep pattern since it happened. Sleeping in snatches of an hour or two while it was happening has never really come right again (severe sleep deprivation over several weeks is a major threat to good health. It depresses the immune system).
The other parent has struggled with financial mess and debt (which never happened before through many years) because of bouts of illness and major loss of self confidence affected their decisions. As caring responsible people we felt it badly that we were no longer strong enough to properly look after others in our wider family who had crises, as we would normally expect to. This further damaged our self respect and confidence.
A marital partnership that had been strong and devoted over a decade and more has gone to the edge of collapse, because we were so deeply shocked, distressed and disoriented. There is a reaction of subconsciously blaming each other that is hard to identify and then solve.
We have watched our child through these years of survival, worried about the effects of the invasion. At first the child managed well, because of a child lifetime lived in love and strength before it happened. The child knew we had been strong and effective as parental defenders of their security, so it meant those weeks were a nasty experience, hopefully no worse.
We do not like it at all that our child was shown so nakedly that authorities are dangerous and untrustworthy: this is hard for a child to know and balance. But it is the truth of our children's society and future, so perhaps best they learn it. An awful judgement to have to make.
It was afterwards that the long aftermath made mockery of ‘child protection’ for the child concerned.
This cherished and happy child had to suddenly live with two broken parents, whose state of mind and everyday efficiency was unable to provide the activities, or the personal attention, required of parents. The child lived with parental conflict so terrible that the core stability of their world was uncertain for a long time.
I nearly forgot to mention that other parents on the grapevine suddenly didn't want to let their child socialise with ours. Difficult to explain that one to a friendly young person. It is a tribute to this child that their resourcefulness, patience, generosity, and maturity, won through. We all did our best to cope together. But no child should have to be put through this, ostracism based on nothing, a very diminished everyday life for so long, and such radical uncertainty about their family future - unnecessarily.
There you have it. We have been ‘lucky’, as I said, because it didn't last long and then we were left alone, albeit with no real explanation or apology. It took a year of determined fighting to find out the silly secret of what they thought they were ‘assessing’.
But if this is the very, very best the ‘child protectors’ can offer – two years of a child's family being broken and devastated just because of how they handle irresponsible and downright laughable gossip - it's a sad and pathetic best, or a wicked one.
I hope this helps to illustrate the extremity of damage this system is doing to healthy families. What it is doing to those less ‘lucky’ than we were, is far, far worse, obviously. Our misery and our child's is, we know, insignificant compared to others' experience of this professional abuse.
But it says something that such a petty case destroyed a strong healthy family for so long.
Signed
Editorial response
Dear Pam
I’m using Pam as a pseudonym for you unless you tell me otherwise.
You might think that I learned nothing new from your story, so bad are some of the other stories we are involved with, but I did indeed learn some new things and had other important lessons re-enforced.
First, my heartfelt sympathy and a welcome into that important group whose cruel sufferings give them new insights into the workings of our misguided society and increased sensitivity towards the human state.
Indeed , that you were one of the ‘lucky’ families makes your story all the more important as so many thousands – the majority of those who have suffered, can identify with it.
> Some silly and untrue gossip was passed on to local authorities. Before, we were a remarkably happy healthy family, perhaps a bit more active and creative than many others.
Only a month or two ago, Florence-Horseman Hogan, who founded LOVE in Ireland, an organization dedicated to exposing false allegations for compensation purposes, at
the height of her success in her campaign, suffered the affects of a malicious caller telling social services that she was leaving one or more children unattended at home. Social services gleefully investigated her and leaked the malicious defamation to the media. It almost wrecked her campaign. Like you, she spoke of sleepless nights.
> We were shamed and humiliated
If you are still suffering some of this, read the section on shame in the ‘People in trouble’ section of the Inquisition21 web site.
> It was like a nightmare, like Kafka's Trial, like the old witch hunts.
It is and this web site is devoted to trying to find out why and to resist it.
>The other parent has struggled with financial mess and debt (which never happened before through many years) because of bouts of illness and major loss of self confidence affected their decisions.
Some people as ‘lucky’ as you have been committed suicide.
>As caring responsible people we felt it badly that we were no longer strong enough to properly look after others in our wider family who had crises, as we would normally expect to.
This is the ripple affect which goes out and hurts many other family members and friends. When the accused couple have to move away from where they have lived for years the larger family will suffer.
>We do not like it at all that our child was shown so nakedly that authorities are dangerous and untrustworthy: this is hard for a child to know and balance. But it is the truth of our children's society and future, so perhaps best they learn it. An awful judgement to have to make.
A very interesting point – the thousands of children now growing up who will never trust the authorities.
Editor
Follow up from Pam
Editor, this is a rare cheerful note to add to the 'child protection' collection. This is another UK story. It's a family that has fought off far worse than what my family endured, yet this family is now moving into serious complaint level and calling for resignations. I take courage from this and I know others will too.
NOTE. This is not copy typed but slightly condensed. It does however follow closely the published text. All significant phrases are taken from the Western Telegraph p.27 12/01/05 and all quoted text is exactly copied. Note that while it was sent to us by Pam it is not her story.
WRONGLY ACCUSED MOTHER SLAMS 'INCOMPETENT COUNCIL (actual headline)
Pembrokeshire Council `has been found guilty by the Ombudsman of "repeated, prolonged and serious maladministration" when investigating a mother of four children, to be referred to as ‘Mrs. Price’. Her children were wrongly placed on the 'at risk' register. The Ombudsman vindicates the mother, and recommends the council pays compensation of £5,000 to recognise the severe distress and damage to her reputation. The Council is also required to apologise to the children.
’Mrs Price’ describes her family as having gone through three years of hell and she has called for Social Services Director John Skone, and Education Director Gerson Davies, to resign. She is taking legal advice on suing the Council for damages, Derwent NHS Trust for medical negligence, and also about taking the education authority to court over its lack of action.
’Mrs. Price’ claims her children's special needs were completely ignored. "Because of the council's actions, my children and I have suffered irrevocable damage," Mrs. Price said. "We have been stigmatised and ostracised from the small community in which we live. I have lost my business and my children suffered distress and humiliation."
’Mrs Price’ also claims the council ordered her not to discuss the case with third parties, including her MP. Ms. Lawrence is raising the matter with the Speaker of the House of Commons as she considers this an interference with basic democratic rights.
The Ombudsman describes Pembrokeshire Social Services as "grossly insensitive", "incompetent" and "unacceptable". The council complaints procedure is defined as "procedurally flawed" and the decision to put the children on the 'at risk' register was unreasonable. The Ombudsman recommends the council carry out a formal review with external assistance, to protect other families in the future. Council leader John Davies admits errors in procedure were made.
’Mrs Price’ has praised Pembrokeshire MP Jackie Lawrence as the first person she approached for support and who gave her friendship and help. Jackie Lawrence has asked the Children's Commissioner to conduct an assessment of the council's children's services as well as her plans to raise the matter of MP/constituent rights to democratic discussion with the Speaker of the House of Commons.
The case was featured in ITV Wales ‘This Week’ programme and there was a follow up programme Jan 20th presenting the Ombudsman and the Children's Commissioner.
State intervention
The iron fist of the state
We are cowed
The blacklist expands
Internet - tool of repression
The story of a ‘lucky family’
The grotesque new world of fostering
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